With Halloween coming, this is the time of year when “spooky”
things abound. As we gear up for the day
and night of “All Hallows Eve”, we like most people here in America try to “spook
up” the place a bit. The front of the house
is adorned with ghosts, fake headstones, bats, and of course the mandatory Jack-O-Lantern,
along with the finishing touches of fake cobwebs with plastic spiders…yes, all
very spooky indeed.
One of my favorite T.V. shows, AMC’s “The Walking Dead” has
returned to the airwaves. After all,
human flesh eating zombies do make for an exciting weekend! But these aren’t the only things that
currently frighten me. We have that big
presidential election coming up shortly, and I do believe that scares me more
than going to even some of the best haunted houses. At this point I am not sure if I should vote
for Dracula or Frankenstein. I think I
will save that thought for next month’s blog.
So what scares you?
Is it ghosts, goblins, vampires, or other assorted monsters? Well, for me one spooky thought would be the
idea that we are now quickly closing in on the major holidays of Thanksgiving
and Christmas! Once again I am shocked
and frankly a tiny bit horrified by how quickly the year has gone by, and dare
I say I am frightened by the fact the years now seem to “click” by even faster
than I can remember. I guess getting
older can be somewhat of a scary thing if you let it.
I too now get the chills whenever I need to put gas in my
car. Why the price at the pump these
days would be enough to send the Wolfman in search of silver bullets just to
make things a little less painful. Good
thing I traded in the “Dragula” for a more fuel efficient vehicle.
And finally, one of the spookiest and most disturbing things
has recently come to my attention. At
first I couldn’t believe it. I thought
it was a mistake, an aberration; a nightmarish vision conjured up by wizards or
a group of mad scientists. An instrument
of evil designed to put fear into men’s hearts.
Yes, I can only be talking about one thing; I can only be describing the
terror that is the new found pseudo celebrity of “Honey Boo Boo”. Whoa! Now this scares me! I had read a few articles on the internet and
thought, “O.K., I will have to see what all the hoopla is all about.” Well,
after about 10 minutes I turned off the T.V., and it was then that I began to realize that my curiosity had turned
to horror, as I knew my brain would
never be the quite the same. I instinctively
knew that some part of me had been forever changed, and not in a good way. As my mind began to reel, I kept wondering
why it took Stephen King so long to turn this, obvious piece of previously
unpublished fiction, into a television show.
Why surely this couldn’t be real, could it? Why I am sure that “little
miss Boo Boo” had to be the work of a mind filled with pain
and anguish. And after several moments
of panic, I finally convinced myself that what I had just witnessed had to be
an early Halloween Special on The Learning Channel. A kind of retro, Orson Wells type of “War Of
The Worlds” story, merely meant to scare the audience into believing it’s the
end of everything we know. Well, I guess
the laugh is all on us…isn’t it? We all
know that nothing like what melted my brain on TLC could ever be real. We know that our society could never be taken
over and destroyed by the likes of the “Honey Boo Boo” household, could
it? “Whew, thank goodness it was only a silly
Halloween trick without the treat.”
Somebody, please pass me the bowl of
candies.
Thank you as always for reading, and I’ll see you in the
groves.
-Farmer Tony
P.S.
We here at Pearson Ranch wish everyone a most happy, fun and
safe Halloween!
