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"An Orange a Day" Sponsored By: Pearson Ranch California Oranges
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Blame it on COVID

I think we’ve all had the opportunity by now to say the words that have pretty much defined the better part of the last couple of years…”Damn COVID!” I think I now say it often enough that it could be a fun drinking game, if it weren’t mired in frustration and sadness. The current scourge of our world can now be safely blamed for just about anything and everything that has gone wrong recently. The virus has caused the death and illness of so many around the world, that by now we all know someone that has either died from it, or has been negatively impacted by it one way or another. Whether you want to believe the virus naturally occurred in nature or was created in a Chinese lab, or heck, even created by space aliens to rid the planet of us pesky humans, I will leave all theories up to the individual reader, if for no other reason as to not create even more divisiveness amongst the population. Besides, Thanksgiving is not too far off, and it seems to me, family arguments around the dinner table regarding COVID certainly don’t need my help. In fact, I have read news stories of couples even splitting up and even divorcing over COVID arguments! So there it is, you want to know who or what is to blame for your bad relationship, you don't need a couples counselor, we all know the answer...”damn COVID.”

     We have now been able to blame just about everything on the virus. Finding a few empty shelves at the market or your favorite store or restaurant not open? Sure, they now say it’s due to "supply chain issues" and labor shortages. But we all know what has caused all the shortages…”damn COVID.”

Thinking about buying a brand new car? Not so fast!  Automakers say there is a global computer chip shortage holding things up.  And since we can’t make cars without them anymore, your old car is probably going to stay in your driveway a little longer. Not your fault of course…”damn COVID.”  

Traveling is probably one of the most problematic aspects of COVID (outside of all the obvious health issues). Should you fly? How safe is it to fly? Do I need my vaccination card handy? Do I need a negative test to travel? What do I do for face coverings? Do I need a Naomi Cambell type HAZMAT suit to travel safely, or will a simple face covering do the job? How often is the aircraft properly sanitized? How come its O.K. to be 6 inches apart on a plane, but in the airport you have to keep 6 feet of distance? Oh, you say it doesn’t make a lot of sense? Of course not... “Damn COVID!” How about all the fun unruly passengers traveling these days? Ah yes, from arguments with fellow passengers about keeping masks on, to airline attendants being physically attacked, the madness seems to only get worse. And now, some airlines have suspended serving alcohol onboard flights altogether, “oh the humanity!”  I think all commercial aircraft should now come with an extra COVID emergency exit. That way if you become one of “those” travelers, the special door opens up and you get to be sucked out of the plane! Sure, you will probably miss your connecting flight to Chicago, but at least you know you can always blame the “damn COVID.”  And don’t even get me started on the floating Petri dishes (a.k.a. cruise ships) to Cabo! Just no!

I think one of the biggest things that I blame COVID on is all the confusion it has created in just about every aspect of our lives. It’s not like my brain need any help with becoming confused, in fact, my brain does it pretty much at will, and on a regular basis. But COVID has done more to make me question just about everything in my everyday world. And I’m pretty sure I am not alone. Think about just some of the day-to-day confusion that this virus creates.  Starting with the obvious one that gets to most people…”do I or someone around me have COVID?” If they have a little cough or headache, hmmm…is it COVID? Do I move away from them? Exactly how far is 6 feet? Is 6 feet of distance enough? Did I bring a measuring tape? And what about my face covering? Do I use a cloth mask? A plastic face shield? Do I double mask? And while wearing a mask, how do I try to not sound like Darth Vader?  Next, which vaccine should I take? Do we care what’s in them? Are they safe? Do I need a booster? Do I need horse pills? Do I ask my neighbor if they’ve been vaccinated before they bring my borrowed cup of sugar back? What’s “proper COVID etiquette” these days? We just don't know! And what about the so-called “super spreader events,” are they still a thing? I see sports stadiums filled to capacity now. All of which have fans yelling and screaming at the top of their lungs, when last year we weren’t even supposed to speak loudly or sing indoors?  Same with many live concerts and theatres, oh so many questions. Another big question, what do we do about the kids? Do we vaccinate, do we keep them out of school? What to do?  Furthermore, when you are trying to get updated, relevant and helpful answers, whom do you trust, cable news? Dr. Fauci? The internet? WebMD? How about the women on “The View,” they seem helpful. Or perhaps just to keep it real, we could always try a Ouija board, at least you might finally get a firm “yes” or “no” answer. At this point there is so much confusing information, I would just like to go back to a simpler time, when the hardest question of the day came from the grocery store, when the clerk asked... “paper or plastic?” These days everything is just an ongoing series of questions relating to COVID. Questions about vaccinations, safety protocols, funding, job mandates, and how not to get back to that place where everyone was hoarding toilet paper and water for some reason.

As for me, I’m just trying to stay safe, healthy and productive for myself and everyone around me without losing my mind. And while doing so, I realized that a year had gone by without me putting out one of my mind wandering, sometimes “stream of consciousness” blog postings. But the good news, once I realized it had been so long, I knew who to blame.  You got it…”damn COVID.”

 

Thank you for reading and I’ll be seeing you in the groves…masked up of course.

Be well,

-Farmer Tony

 

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